2. start of the beginning.

so im looking through my facebook statuses to like always... get inspiration.
"live the life you want to remember" says one. its definitely true if you think about it...
at least to me it is.
regret to me is the biggest fear i have.
it sounds kind of funny but if you think about it-- life isn't worth living with regrets.
it can make you dislike your way of living or even dislike who you are as a person.
faith and being true to one is important: if you dont lie to yourself, then you should know who you are.

i wanted to begin by saying that because that to me is a fundamental: you need to know that in order to be happy, succesful, charismatic, etc. ive moved a lot of times... (when i say a lot... i mean a lot). ive seen people of different races, people that speak different languages, people that live in different styles of houses. they all share a significant characteristic: holding on to their lives.
--
people express their feelings differently.
when i regret something or when im slightly depressed, i empty my tears into paper.
i write songs about those experiences so that way they will linger forever-- but not inside my head or heart-- but in my notebook.
as ive grown older, ive learned to cherish my life more day by day mostly because i've noticed that time goes faster as i get older (obviously it's psychological but its how i feel).
with my songs, and ridiculous stories i write in my notebook, i remember the curious, adventurous, and pretty dumb girl i used to be (yes, okay, most of those traits are still in me).
my family and i still re-live and tell the stories that have shaped me into who i am today.
hopefully we will still remember them in the future and this is why i have this urge to annotate them here... so here they go.

you know how when you're a kid and an adult gives you... let's say... stickers, you want to keep them to yourself and not share with anybody (even though you might not even use it either)?
that was my case-- not only with stickers, but with pipe cleaners-- those fuzzy cute things... google it! no... blackle it (its the google that saves energy!) Anyways, i remember the day when my sister asked to borrow various pipe cleaners to make a sophisticated elephant. i turned to her and said no; afterall, they were too precious to me. i'd touch every single one of them and made sure they were in color order. red, orange, then yellow, green, blue, indigo, and finally, violet. so my sister and i were sitting in my mother's bedroom in front of a wall socket. as a very smart child, i pull out my favorite pipe cleaner: the green one! (my favorite color). so i grab it and i might've just been so bored i decided to stick it inside the wall socket.
do you have any idea how close i could've gotten to death right there?

it was crazy. it might be funny now... but wow... God was there like He always is.
so the light of the whole house left (even though my sister recalls it only left in the computer and my moms room).
my mom was just talking to my grandmother on the phone... so she freaked out.
i was crying as i looked towards my hand. who would know? i wanted the pipe cleaners so bad, that now i had the fuzzy things somehow sown into my left hand. it looked like green stitches... i still recall looking at my hand and freaking out.
it all worked out fine after that... i thought i'd gain some neurons after that stupid action of mine...
but all i gained was burning my gamecube up :(
(I HAVE AN EXCUSE PEOPLE! santa brought it to me and i was excited!)
haha. so thats it... FOR NOW.
i love this thing... its as if im talking to myself.
in a few years, ill look at this and just comment on my weird comments and stuff... itll be pretty funny, yeah? HAHA. ok. -_-.

seeyouu laterr mademoiselleeess and ... menmesoilles... jeje.

"we might not be for always, but writing is forever"-me.
pao&inspiration.